Far too often in today’s society we look toward others in order to validate ourselves. But do you really want to leave your self-worth in the hands of others?
That’s the question posed by writer Margaret Paul in an article on mindbodygreen.com, Why Loving Yourself is the First Step to Fulfilling Relationships (And How To Do It). In the article, Paul asks: Do you want to be a victim of others’ judgments?
How often do you feel anxious that you’re not performing well enough or that you don’t look good enough to be approved of? Imagine how exhausting it would be to spend your life worrying about whether or not other people value you.
There’s only one way to stop the cycle: Learn to validate yourself. Learn to give yourself the attention, approval, love, and acceptance you seek from others.
So, what are the keys to self-validation? Well, Paul highlights two here.
The first key is to learn to access the truth of who you are from your higher mind (your evolved, spiritual self). Hearing the truth from yourself isn’t as hard as you might think. Try imaging yourself as older and wiser. Ask that version of yourself to reveal your soul’s essence.
The second key is to focus on how you treat yourself. Stop judging yourself and abandoning yourself. Don’t ignore or numb your feelings with addictions. And stop making others responsible for your with – that’ll only trap you into feelings of unworthiness.
The takeaway – loving yourself and others
When you treat yourself without love, you invite others to do the same. When you learn to love and validate yourself, you make it easier for others to reciprocate, and, in turn, you’ll find it easier to open your heart to those people.
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